Today my wonderful husband and I celebrate our 15th year as husband and wife. Good stuff. Amazing if you consider I never wanted to get married. Fortunately, I wasn’t in charge . . .
Meanwhile, Technorati calls xyb8t64g2a
Integrity First - Service Before Self - Excellence in All We Do - US Air Force Core Values - No official motto
Semper Paratus - Always Ready - US Coast Guard
Semper Fidelis - Always Faithful - US Marines
Honor, Courage, Commitment - US Navy Core Values - No official motto
This We’ll Defend - US Army
The world is nuts. Don’t take my word for it, ask others.
Too many situations where we see only the forest, but each of us is a living, bug-infested, bird-hosting, four-seasonal, sun-drenched, water-starved tree. Unique. Often sturdy, bendable, shady, shedding, bending, growing, or dying.
Do yourself a favor. Hug another tree.
Meanwhile, Technorati calls xyb8t64g2a
Quiet times are underrated. The greatest pull I feel is when I am least likely to heed the call. I confess my character is not especially quiet. I readily identify with Peter of all the disciples.
I could say that He made me loud and somewhat brash and leave it at that. But I don’t think He wants me to settle for less than He offers. Any worthy pursuit requires some reshaping. But first, He needs to get my attention.
The dreary weather suits my mood. After a breezy trip to South Carolina for a family wedding on the beach (which I highly recommend), I’m resettling into a routine. With two weeks of school left, an upcoming writers conference, a manuscript to scrutinize, and a dent in my rubber bumper from an unrepentant backer-outer, I’m feeling like a carnie plate-spinner. My puny plates of concern don’t merit God’s involvement, yet he invites me to give them over to Him.
As a child, I looked at God as a special-event coordinator, available for wars, surgery, or freaky noises at night. Sundays were for ratting out all the despicable deeds I’d committed in the prior six days. He wasn’t to be bothered with my speech before the assembly, the spooky kid at school, or the unease I felt with a decision at hand.
I realize now that I feared God without really understanding what He meant by “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom”. I feared what He might do to me, but I didn’t fully grasp His omniscience, His holy nature. Now I better understand God’s love and patience with me, and I recognize my utter loss without Him. In every detail of my life I want to feel His holy presence, whether I’m driving a car, washing my laundry, or trying to hit a note-without-hope in the shower.
My only real fear is disappointing the God whose tender love buoys my every breath.
My local newspaper comes out once a week and, even on a fat news cycle, still numbers less than twenty pages. The pages include headlines, local sports, police blotter, scouting news, school awards, obituaries, classifieds, and a colorful array of opinions. This past week, with Easter on the horizon, the local churches were out in full force.
A full-page ad appeared by a group that touted a Leadership Training seminar. The viewer seems to loom over a picture of the Leadership Strategist. I see a cross-wait, those are intersecting I-beams being hauled into place on the new building. If the word Easter hadn’t been mentioned, I wouldn’t have known it was Christian. Turns out the Leadership Strategist is also the pastor.
Oh, it’s a church.
Hmmm.
So I went to the website. When I finally found the statement of beliefs I found a charismatic church with many beliefs to which I say, “Amen!” and many with which I shall agree to disagree. I have asked God to reveal Charismatic principals to me, if they were of him, and if they were for me. Since I haven’t been given such knowledge, I’m confident in not pursuing a church with that theological bent.
Some of the Core Values of the church I found disturbing. Valuing such intangibles as Biblical Success or
Biblical Prosperity. These terms leave me vaguely uncomfortable. I have a corporate history, success is measureable in Leadership-ease, otherwise, how do I know when I’ve achieved it?
Do I have to set Biblical Success goals? Biblical Prosperity goals? If so what do these look like? I’m guessing it’s not how many bible verses I can utter on cue. As one of my favorite bible teachers said, we Christians tend to form our firing squads in a circle. I don’t want to be the first to pull that trigger.
If Jesus is happy, I’m happy. I have enough of my own to answer for, I don’t need someone else’s baggage. But as an outsider, it seems to focus less on our Lord and more on what I get from my deity.
Fear is mounting out there. It seems that everyone I know is afraid of something, whether economic news, political news, or personal difficulties. Each person’s fear tunes to a slightly different frequency.
1 John 4:18 tells us: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Yet throughout the bible, writers admonish us to fear the Lord. Those who do not are held up as examples of foolishness, wickedness, and evil. The fear of God signifies blessing, devotion, and wisdom.
If you’re going to worry, why pray? If you’re going to pray, why worry?
A simple approach to the matter neatly summarized in two questions. I remember early in my walk a mature Christian telling me that fear, or worry, was a sin. I had my own list of sins for which I had thankfully been forgiven, and worry hadn’t been on the list, nor did it break the top 100. I had to give that one some thought.
Fearing the Lord means understanding His divine nature. Thus, it is the beginning of wisdom (Psalm 111:10). When I know who my maker is, awe is justified. When I love Him perfectly, as Christ did, fear evaporates. I’m still here, in my original-issue body, with unrepentant hearts beating nearby, in a fallen world. Nothing about me is perfect on this side of heaven.
I get that certain twist in my knickers about the state of the world. But my husband is quick to remind me, that if the world were perfect, if it seemed to be getting better, if we, as humans, were sorting things out in a way that was truly just, loving, or honorable, well, then, my bible would be in error, my God, a liar, and my faith a waste of time.
I’m tired today: tired of the news, the people making it, the people reporting it, the people ignoring it. Some days, I want only to skim the surface, to delve no deeper that my personal reach. Being light and salt in this world is hard work that requires constant vigilance. I’m not up for it today. Today I’m better off staying away from others, so my inadequacies won’t reflect on my Savior.
Humanity is a messy, cranky, ill-tempered, fickle lot that defies my understanding. I wonder why God bothered with the Ark to save eight. Ultimately, it served His good purpose. But if I were God, I probably would have gone to plan B.
Individually, it’s a different game. Plucking a person out of the crowd requires glimpsing life through their eyes, if even for a moment. Up close, one-on-one, personal, that is where God wants us. That’s one of my prayers. I ask God to let me see others as He sees them.
Through His eyes, in His strength, I can imagine the soul behind the short temper, snotty remarks, or blazing glare. Let me see that person, that human being, created in His image, let me see that person as God see him, then my only response can be love. Even when I’m tired.
for . . .
Rain - we needed it
The temperate weather - we’re enjoying it
Bird songs
Goofy friends
Fuzzy animals
A baby’s laugh
New buds on the trees
People who forgive me
I’m not an actress. I don’t even play one on, er-, never mind. Had I the choice, I would have starred in my first roll before the age of seven. By now, of course, I’d have my star on the sidewalk, my signature in cement, and a wing in my mansion to house my Oscars, and such.
But I didn’t, so I’m not, and I haven’t.
If we all had a choice, the world be overrun with famous actresses, rock stars, sporting giants, and — thanks to the current Princess Movement among the under eight crowd — excess female royalty. The whole system would make clean toilets passé. Who, alas, would deign to do the scrubbing?
It’s like starting a business, everyone wants to call the shots, be in charge, make the 30,000 ft decisions. But, first things first. Who’s going to pay for the business cards?
In God’s infinite wisdom, He calls us each to be a part of the body of Christ. I understand my role, more so, now than ever. This blog, my other writing, has helped me define my significance.
I’m not a head. I don’t now, have never, will never speak from a pulpit or position of authority.
I’m not feet. I don’t lead others. I’m not especially good at following. And often, I’m not entirely sure of where I’m going.
I could be a shoulder. Whatever ache someone has had, I’ve had one too. Maybe not the same one. but I understand pain.
I could be a pinkie. Not leading the charge, like an index, or definitive in function like the thumb, but a pinkie that can work with the crew to get something done.
More likely, I’m something internal, soft-tissued, messy, and expendable.
As long as God loves me, I’m good with that.